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Big deal, who cares. But on that same test, your best friend beat your score. Our brains are programmed to feel that confusing mix of pride and jealousy, and we have the self-evaluation maintenance theory to thank.
This phenomenon was first studied by the social psychologist Abraham Tesser, who, in a studywrote that our self-evaluation is threatened far more by loved ones who excel in areas we define ourselves by — like our work or a particular skill — than by strangers who excel in the exact same way. We instinctively compare ourselves more to How to Upplands Vasby with jealous boyfriend who are close to us, even though, paradoxically, it can engender bitterness.
In fact, our brains are so bent on those comparisons that in Brazilian ts escort Angelholm experimentsubjects actively sabotaged their friends from succeeding.
But there t ways to head off these feelings before they happen, and you can train yourself to recognize the symptoms when you exhibit Hoa. Say, for example, your best friend earns an award in your shared field.
Tell me about it on Twitter timherrera or over email at tim nytimes. Sign up here for the Smarter Living newsletter to get stories like this and much more!
Turning a Breakup Into a Positive Experience As you reflect on your newfound singledom, here are a few things to keep in mind. There is no greater joy in this world than being unable to go to a get-together, a baby shower, a gender reveal, an engagement party Craigslist Trollhattan roads Sweeden personals a karaoke party.
There are limits to. In fact, sending apologies for not attending an event gives the host more responsibility: Not only do they have to put out an appropriate cheese spread and make sure no one spills wine on their hosting slippers, they have to accommodate your excuse and apology. Tim Herrera is the founding editor of Smarter Living, where he edits and reports stories about jealouw a better, more fulfilling life. He was previously a reporter and editor at The Washington Post.
The worst part? So what can we do? Have a great week!
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